Monthly Archives: May 2010

Every few weeks I realize that I expect too much from people. Not that I want anything from them, but I think of them as these amazing creatures who will make my life such a happy place – or at least make me feel happy. Sadly, every few weeks I realize that it is not the case.

My whole body hurts, because of “disappointment” – because “I expect too much”. People come and go, I need to focus on the “go” part and I need to realize that if I keep my “expectations” so high – that I will constantly be sad, because of disappointment.

This morning I realized (yet, again) that people do not make you happy, it is what you do that makes happy. What do you mean Narry? Well, you cannot depend on someone else to make you happy, because what happens when they are not there anymore? Your life will end miserably? The disappointment and in some cases – hurt – will be the end of you. People are too unpredictable. One day they can do magic, the next – ouchee ouchee you make my heart hurt.

You need to find things that make you happy – that YOU can do. On your own, with someone else, on a sunny day and even on a rainy day – or night! Whenevz.

Do you know what that *something* might be? For you.

Why do we trust everyone? Why do we think everyone is in it for the greater good? Too much hope? Yes, I am asking myself those questions – replacing “we” with “I” of course.

Not everyone likes you. I wish they did, but you will eventually come across a few that dislike you for some reason. I love to call it jealousy, but oh well – they might beg to differ.

Interesting how things work. A few days ago, I was doing the YouTube thing and watching Kandee Johnson videos. Oh how I laaah-ve Kandee.

It got late and it got to a point where I could not control the yawning, but I was waiting for one last video to load. I hit play and she was talking about how there will always be someone who is out to get you, someone who will try to bring you down. It made me think a lot – even while playing Tetris before falling asleep (sad little routine I have).

The next day I had to attend a meeting and one of the people felt the need to try everything possible to break me down. He attacked my personality and made me feel like absolute dirt. I handled the situation very well by keeping calm, letting him finish and then I left the meeting without giving him the reaction he was looking for. Kandee’s voice popped into my head (not really), but watching that video the night before secretly prepared me for that episode. Who would have known? Ha (in yo face)!

Even though I did not take too much note of those nasty words (I know that they are not true) – it did affect me and I felt very upset and annoyed at the same time. Together with a few other “disappointments” over the last few weeks, my spirit has been feeling weak – the lil heart inside Narry’s chest that is.

Now I have to repeat myself: interesting how things work. Last night before going to bed, I checked my email and saw an email from a stranger saying the following:

Hi. You have inspired me today… thanks :)

I almost dropped my phone and myself on the floor. Not sure if that is even possible, but it almost happened.

There are little miracles around us – all the time, everywhere. You just have to learn to cut loose. Let go of those things that constantly disappoint you, the things that make you sad, the things that make you want to disappear. Do your thing and I think it is safe to say that from now on I am blowing bubbles with strangers.